Child Development and its Relationship to Grief and Loss
What can Parents Do To Help?
Reference: Myers, D. (1986) Psychology, New York, Worth Publishers

Teen Years

General Concepts of Development

• Formal operational: thinks abstractly, like an adult
• Egocentric
• Magical thinking – believes that just thinking about something can make it happen (this is minimal)
• Attempting to find a balance in terms of independence and dependence of caregiver
• Peer relationships are very important
• Self esteem is developing
• Searching for identity

Concept of Death

• Death is final, an end to physical life
• Realization of own mortality and thinks about the meaning of life
• May be interested in physical and biological aspects of death
• May feel that he caused death
• Understands future and what loss will mean

Grief Issues

• May appear fine
• May respond to death with irritability, change in sleep, eating, school and social behaviors
• May be concerned with who will be caregiver
• May feel stigma at school or around peers
• May be attached to remaining caregiver/family
• May be concerned about the future of self or others
• May attempt to take on role of deceased
• Struggles with needing support and not wanting it

What can you do to help?

• Answer questions
• Maintain a schedule
• Talk adolescent to funeral or service if he chooses
• Include adolescent in funeral/service
• Be available when teen wants to talk
• Be honest and factual
• Reduce expectations
• Model/encourage appropriate expression of feelings and memory sharing
• Keep a journal for adolescent of important events, ceremonies, newspaper clippings and stories
• Keep in contact with school
• Start a family communication journal
  

Did this information help you?
Your comments are important to us! Click here to give your feedback.

Parents Trauma Resource Center
www.tlcinstitute.org • 877-306-5256
© TLC Institute 2004