Reprinted from TLC's Journal,
TRAUMA AND LOSS: Research and Interventions,
Volume 3, Number 1, 2003

The Columbia disaster once again challenged our capacity to cope with an increasing number of traumatic incidents impacting our nation. It certainly challenged a number of schools in Texas and their preparedness to deal with the families and students in their community who came upon the discovery of body parts as reported by The New York Times (February 2, 2003).

The push for war against Iraq has created additional challenges we would rather not have to worry about. In the past, going to war did not stir fears of a serious retaliation. Today terrorism is a reality and certainly creates tremendous anxiety because it is an enemy that is not easily recognized, can attack anywhere, anytime and cause the death of thousands. Children of military families will especially have a difficult time. Their worry will not be easily quieted until their parent returns home; something they know may not happen. How do you help prepare children for the worse case?

Club USA: Help for Children in Military Families is a ten-session program that addresses the children’s worst fears. It was developed by Maryann Williams, BS, MEd, a military mom, counselor and TLC Certified Trauma and Loss School Specialist.
This program does more than address fears and worries. It helps children find meaning in why their parents are following military orders, why they must leave and why they must fight. The view of life for military families is different than non-military families. Club USA gives counselors and social workers the opportunity to help military children in non-military schools. This program creates many teachable moments.

The trauma interventions that TLC Certified Trauma and Loss School Specialists and Consultants provide to children exposed to such situations certainly can be and have been beneficial for the thousands of children and families our School Specialists and Consultants have assisted. However, caution is always urged regarding our immediate response. It is our position that we cannot possibly know the extent of intervention children might initially need until we know how children are actually experiencing exposure to any potentially trauma-inducing situation. It is not our experience, it is the child’s experience. It can be just as harmful to unduly overexpose children to intervention that is not needed as it is not to provide them what they may need.

How then do we determine what children may need, what they may need to hear? There are two basic questions that can help reveal what a child is experiencing and thinking following exposure to potentially trauma-inducing incidents: 1) “Since this happened what is your biggest worry?” and 2) “What has been the worst part of this for you?”

In response to the first question, the child who replies, “Does this mean we can’t go on our field trip?” is not in need of the kind of intervention as the child who replies, “Is my mommy going to die too?” So again, we urge caution in responding until children can communicate, with our help, how they are experiencing their exposure.

In a similar fashion we must use caution when initiating debriefing. Debriefing can be very beneficial to healing, however, as our trainings emphasize, not everyone needs debriefing - debriefing is reserved for the “most exposed.” This is not the format for defining “most exposed” nor for explaining the debriefing process. However, debriefing is a more intrusive, exposure-based intervention than is basic crisis intervention. We, therefore, recommend that parental permission be obtained before including any child in the debriefing process. I’ve been asked numerous times about the liability issues related to conducting debriefing with students in a school environment. There are currently law suits pending against schools who included students in debriefing without parental consent. You wouldn’t provide counseling for a child without parental permission; neither should you provide debriefing without permission.

I opened this message by talking about our ability to cope with an increasing number of traumatic incidents impacting our nation. Unfortunately we must continue to be responsive to the day to day situations that can become problematic and potentially traumatic for children. One such situation that is often minimized by parents and educators and infrequently responded to is the issue of moving. One in five American families move every year. Moving is often beyond the control of children. They are often powerless to do anything about the family’s need to move. Moving can be traumatic (see commentary, page 31). The “new kid” in school becomes an easy target for ridicule, outcasting, becoming a “punching bag” for others. The anxiety of having to make new friends and the grief from losing old friends are definitely difficult. In fact, research has now linked declines in academic performance with moving. Moving is a major problem facing many schools, but it is also a problem for children, especially when their worries, fears, grief and anger are minimized or simply not acknowledged and talked about.

Because of the sheer magnitude of the number of children who experience multiple moves and the academic, behavioral and affective problems which can develop, we sought funding which was generously granted by the Edyth Bush Foundation of Orlando, Florida, to develop a new resource for parents and educators, Shadow Moves: The Fears and Worries of Being the “New Kid” in School. Shadow will follow the same format as Brave Bart: A Story for Grieving and Traumatized Children. Shadow, a female kitty is forced to move. Her story tells of the worries and fears of moving but also tells what helped her survive. It is generic so it can be used following any move regardless of the reason. Like Brave Bart it will identify common reactions and normalize these reactions, – the fear, the worry, the challenges. It will give parents a language - a way for them to help their child with the issues triggered by moving. Like Brave Bart it will focus on helping children survive this time of uncertainty, worry, exposure to new environments, people, challenges, and problems.

Moving is about change and with change often comes anxiety. The uncertain changes in our economy, our way of life, the fading sense of safety and security is now also creating numerous changes in the way we think, the way we behave (the way we now view life), and the way others behave toward us. Shadow’s story helps us to view change as a survivor, as an opportunity to grow stronger in our resolve to overcome unwanted changes and unwanted challenges.

With crisis comes danger or opportunity; the danger of becoming frozen by all the uncertainties the year 2003 is already presenting us, or the opportunity to learn and grow with the changes. Although TLC will be making some changes to counter the freeze on spending many face today we will continue to meet the demand for increasing specialized services. In this respect we are excited to announce the addition to our staff of Ms. Rebecca Roberts, MSW, LSW. She brings with her, experience in the area of early infancy which will help us to now develop materials and resources for parents whose infants and young children have been traumatized as well as resources for those who work with these families. If this is an area of interest to you please call and talk with Rebecca. Your ideas, concerns, and experiences can help us to direct our efforts to meet your needs.

As always we thank you for keeping us informed of your experiences, consulting with us, directing us to new information. This is how we all continue to learn ways to effectively help the children.